Leaning on Community Amidst Suffering

Josh and I have built sturdy walls around our life over the years. We didn’t let our community, church, or friends see the reality of life with disabilities.

We didn’t want to be the focus.

We didn’t want to inconvenience others.

We didn’t want to be seen as struggling.

We wanted to be perceived as responsible & capable.

We left an impression of “we have it all figured out”.

But why?!

Pride.

We wanted to handle everything quietly, with as little help as possible to show how adept we are.

Sound familiar?

You know what that leads to?

• DEPRESSION

• BURNOUT

• RESENTMENT

• ISOLATION

• ANGER

• ANXIETY

Not letting others see our needs, robbed our family of the love of our community and robbed that community of being the hands and feet of Christ to us.

There is even a temptation to be resentful to “outsiders”; typical families who couldn’t understand our suffering.

“They don’t even care.”

“Do they even know what we go through?”

Nope they don’t. It isn’t the burden they were given to carry. And they will never know as long as we continue isolating & hiding our lives.

God impressed upon us several months ago to quit keeping everything pretty on the surface.
He was preparing our family for what was to come when we would need our community near and far.

During one of our darkest seasons we were surrounded with love and support because we chose vulnerability. 

We allowed our community to see the brokenness and help. 
The piles of packages that came flooding in from all over the country with gifts and needs for Kaylee were a beautiful show of love. 

Our church and friends stocked us with food, scrubbed our bathrooms, and cut our grass to sacrificially meet our practical needs. 

Family took care of our younger children without hesitation giving us peace to stay where we were needed most by Kaylee’s bedside. 

We’ve been told, allowing others to serve us and carry the load with us was a true blessing for them! 

The hands and feet of Jesus. 

There’s beauty to experience in the world of disability but you don’t get to see that if you don’t first see the suffering.

So I invite you— allow the ugly to show.
Let your people love on you.

You’re not weak or inept because you let people help. Being vulnerable is not a bad thing! Why do we allow ourselves to believe that lie?!

So you may be able to handle it all— but at what cost?!

What mental or physical state do you result in?
What does your marriage look like?
Where is your peace?!

Leaning on community doesn’t mean your inept, it means you’re humble enough to be vulnerable.

We aren’t meant to carry this load or any load alone.

I see you.
I am you.