Birth Trauma & Hurtful Mantras

“Your body was made to do this” and the other birth slogans that haunt moms with birth trauma…

Well meaning providers and veteran moms don’t realize the hurt generalizations cause.

What about when your body DOESNT do it? DOESNT provide a safe space for a child to enter the world?

What if it’s terrible and scary and nothing goes right and you should’ve died?!

What if your child’s birthday is actually a very scary, solemn day of memories?

Yes, God created a beautiful process for birth to occur— its absolutely a miracle.

There are also endless possibilities of complications and God is still in control during those too.

Both realities coexist and to ignore the truth of severe complications and birth trauma is to isolate the mothers who have suffered in childbirth and may continue to be bound by their trauma.

I have seen the beautiful videos of home births with no intervention. I love the miracle of birth and enjoy tearing up at the photo montage as a baby is born. It’s absolutely beautiful!

I know that would never be a possibility for me. It would be foolish and downright dangerous because of my medical history. Many mommas see that and long for normalcy in delivery and it just isn’t available to them.

Moms who had a traumatic birth— whatever your body did or did not do— your birth story does not define you.

You are not less than.

Your body isn’t defective.

Your child, nor you are less valuable.

You did not cause this (in most cases).

Your birth story occurred in the hands of a sovereign Lord who “will work all things for the good of those who love Him” and most of all, for His glory. (Romans 8:28)

You can’t just “get over it” because it’s in the past.

You can feel hurt an robbed of what it was supposed to be like without being ungrateful for your child.

You can grieve and find joy.

I see you.

I am you.